Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Couch To 5K Plan: Week 3-ish... Or Is it Week 4 Now? Who Fucking Knows...

I've been very liberally following this plan for a number of weeks now. It's hard to keep track as I've just been walking eight out of ten days regardless and jogging every other day without any two day breaks like the plan calls for. The first week, I mostly followed the schedule, which I shared in my last Cto5K post, however, I threw in a few extra two to three minute jogs here and there as I mentioned in said post. I thought that was just the greatest thing because, while it exhausted me, it didn't make me feel like I was going to die or anything. HA!

The second week, the first day I did the initial walking, then three minutes of jogging, then walked a good ten minutes more then jogged for four and that's where I really started to feel something. That four minutes wasn't just, "Yay, this is easy, I can do this! Woo hoo!" and mystery confetti fell from the sky as a crowd of anonymous cheery folks in jogging suits greeted me with applause...

No... it was more like, "Holy fuck, I have to stop, I can't breathe, I need to stop, I can't breathe--MY LEGS! MY FUCKING LEGS! HOLY SHIT, MY LEGS!" The last minute seemed to stretch on for the rest of my life. Every little bit would pass and my lungs would feel like they were going to burst or my leg would give an extra painful twitch and I'd have to tell myself, "Don't stop, mother fucker... don't do it. Just keep going, asshole." And as miserably cliche as it may sound, I finally got a glimpse of what it means to have to dig deep within yourself and instead of pulling out a rabbit or perhaps an old shoe, you have to pull out determination and really push when you feel like you can't push any goddamn more.

What it really comes down to is that it's easy for me to do four or five two-to-three minute jogs, but what really matters most in this race is endurance and when you do one or two longer jogs, that's when your lungs (or at least my motherfucking lungs for goddamn sure!) really start to feel it (FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, PHILIP MORRIS!).

For some of you, that may sound pathetic, but you know what? That's where I'm at. That's what I've gotten myself into after years of sitting at a desk and not seriously consistently putting any care into my body... And of course twenty plus years of smoking probably didn't help either. To be even more fair, I haven't done this much jogging since I was in my early teens. I was smoking by the time I was 13 years old for fuck-sake and by the time I did my Senior finals for gym class, I was dead last in the class when we had to run.

Dead. Fucking. Last!

And while I did get plenty of exercise in my years of singing live on stage, by the time I was 23 or so, that was mostly behind me, save for the few shows I did with Kobayashi in 2008-ish.

Anyway... I digress... On the next day of Jog Til You Drop, I planned to do three minutes and then four like I had before and that three minutes nearly waylaid my lungs, so I had to walk the rest after that. And then the next day I was supposed to jog, I let myself get distracted with other stuff and didn't go. Mind you, as I've said... most days I had been walking on my off days, the days the program says to rest. I don't know if my body is in bad shape to the point that I should have been doing more rest in between or not. Or if that's even how this shit really works... However, this week, I'm resting between days instead.

The first day, I did my walking, then four minutes jogging, and then a short couple-minute jog. Today, day two of this week--which if I'm counting right puts me at week three after all--I walked, did a two minute jog, walked some more, then moved up to a five minute jog. So, while I'm three weeks in and behind on the overall numbers, I at least feel like I'm getting more on track.

So... that's where I'm at with the Couch to5K plan for now...

I suppose while I'm on here, I should mention that I also deactivated my Facebook account today. On one end, I've been spending entirely too much time on Facebook lately and that's completely fucked my productivity in a number of areas. For two, it's a source of a lot of stress that I can certainly do without for at least a little while, if not for the long term.


For three, I'm seeing maybe 50% of the posts I'd like to be seeing, if not less than that. Especially if you count in pages for things like bands, authors, publishers, and what not. In place of real (virtually real?) human interaction, Facebook has slowly evolved into a network that makes you feel like it's normal to spend all of your goddamn time reading and sharing memes that span the gamut from braindead bigoted attacks to  heartfelt emotional pick-me-up quotes, arguing about politics, or arguing about just about any other fucking thing that could possibly and even quite improbably end up being argued about.


Here's a reminder, for those of you who might have forgotten:

THAT SHIT ISN'T NORMAL!

So, anyway... all around, it all adds up to one big, middle finger poking me in the face every time I get on there.


That said, I'm still on Google +, Tsu, and Twitter. So, if you want to keep up with more of my day-to-day bullshit, along with posting more on my blog, I'll still be on those social networks until they too become a problem... (which I don't foresee happening anytime soon...at least... I hope). For now, however, I must rest... eat... and shower! Until next time... completely random Bob time... completely random Bob channel... err, something...